Five Ways to Write About Your Anger

Most people have mixed feelings about feeling and expressing anger. Various influences suggest everything from practicing extreme self-control, holding it all in (end result: stoicism) to showing no boundaries about sharing anger at all(end result: anarchy). Finding the middle ground is the place where you can communicate feelings and the facts of a given situation, without hurting or blaming the other party, and vice versa. When this first scenario occurs, you are creating more space for positive communication changes to occur. When communication is less than ideal, continuing to express anger in old ways will reinforce old habits., aggravating an already difficult situation.

I?m recommending the following journal exercises to assist you in finding more positive ways to express your anger, and become a better communicator. When I have shared my feelings, and the other party has been receptive, I?ve been surprised at how calm I became, compared to how uncomfortable, I felt prior to sharing my feelings. I also have had some situations where I either didn?t receive a response or the other party remained silent. What is most important in any situation, is that I reached out and began the process.

Here is the your exercise list:

ANGER SCRIBBLE:

When you have a strong reaction to a situation, start to pray and write about it. Remember to include a detailed description of your strong feelings including the facts of the situation. Remember to use as much space on a page as you can when you scribble. After filling a page, choose one scribble, and start drawing a specific shape over your scribble. Continue to scribble over the shape until you are finished. (e.g. You may feel tired or relieved. Your words may slow down or you may run out of time to write.) When you notice any of these reactions, it?s time to stop writing. Wait a few minutes for everything to settle, then move to the next exercise. (Note: You may substitute any ritual here if praying isn?t a good fit for you.)

UNSENT LETTERS: This exercise is an effective way to communicate feelings and information to yourself or to someone else. You can write unsent letters, when it might otherwise be hurtful to speak directly to the other party(ies) You can also write unsent letters on any topic (positive or negative). Unsent letters also provide a great place to practice your lines. Whether you write a series of unsent letters or one letter, your feelings will become less intense. Then you can prepare to have a calm conversation with the other party. You can write as many unsent letters as you want. When you write your unsent letters, you give yourself permission to feel the intense emotions that surface around a specific event. At some point either during, immediately or after you?ve written your letter, you will gain clarity about your part in the situation. You will also learn to evaluate your responsibility as well as the other party?s responsibility in the same situation. When you are calm again, you will be more prepared to make changes, including asking for a more specific communication change from the other party. You can continue to follow-up your unsent letters with prayers of blessing for the other party. As you continue to bless the other party, room is made for positive changes to happen in yourself and the other party. When you write an unsent letter, it demonstrates your courage and willingness, to make serious changes in a difficult situation. . WRITING A DIALOGUE: Writing an imagined or real conversation you had with the other party, can help let out some of your anger. It?s useful to put words or images to your feelings.

Start your dialogue with two voices, the letter ?A? (for your voice) and ?B? (for the other person?s voice).

Be sure to allow both voices time to speak.

Don?t worry about writing a perfect dialogue.

Use as much detail as you can. Your descriptive skills will improve with each unsent letter that you write. For example, if I feel my anger burning like fire, then I would want to say ?I?m burning up over this situation.? If I am feeling a sense of resentment (something deep, quiet and very intense, that never quite goes away, then I might say, ?I?m really frustrated about _______ now, can we talk about it for a few minutes?? Remember that no intense feeling is worth ignoring. It?s much better to express your feelings a few at a time, than to pay the price of those same feelings causing problems for you in the future.

?I AM FEELING? STATEMENTS:

Writing sentences that begin with ?I am feeling ?? is a good way to verbalize all of your feelings about a difficult situation. I want to remind you that may express other feelings along with your anger. When you start your journaling, focus on your anger first, then write about your other feelings. I suggest that you write a minimum of ten feeling statements. Put the list away. Move on to the next exercise.

DRAW A PICTURE:

Draw several pictures of your anger. All types of drawing are allowed. Remember what I said about ?My anger is burning?? Write a visual image of your anger. I want you to use as many senses in your picture as you can. (Note: you may also use this exercise to visualize other strong feelings)

COMBINE WORDS AND PICTURES:

Now look at your list of ?I am? sentences. Match as many of your picture(s) with your ?I am feeling?? sentences as you can. (For example: I am feeling angry about?put a picture of a fire next to the written statement. When you are finished, circle one or two combinations that best describe your current feelings. Be sure to write a summary sentence about your two choices.

STARTING CLOSURE:

Let?s stop and review the work you?ve already done. You have written an initial unsent letter about your anger. You?ve explored some of your feelings in detail. You?ve summarized your feelings using a combination of drawing and writing. Now write one action you could have taken to keep the earlier situation from accelerating. Write another sentence describing one action that the other party could have taken. Write down one positive action you are willing to take to change your anger expression now, remember to include a specific completion time and date. If you pray, start praying for good to come to the other party. I would recommend that you pray for at least a few times a week working up to praying daily for a month or until your strong negative feelings disappear.

Take your time working through these exercises. If you find yourself, unable to move on to the next exercise. Then write a short paragraph why you don?t want to move on. Take a break and start the new exercise the next day. Look forward to celebrating your freedom from past buried feelings.

Copyright 2005 Writer's Eye Advisory Service

Lael Johnson, owner of Writer's Eye Advisory Service, offers creativity coaching services and additional writing resources. Visit http://www.writerseye.com for more informaiton.

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What is Agoraphobia?

Most people have heard of most phobias. Mention claustrophobia, social phobia, or arachnophobia and everyone pretty much knows what you are talking about. Mention agoraphobia, and most people will just shake their heads.

Because of this, many people who get agoraphobia often take a year, and in some cases, many years, just finding out what is wrong with them. Since the panic and anxiety symptoms that come with agoraphobia are so physical, people who get agoraphobia commonly visit a succession of doctors trying in search of a diagnosis. Since medical doctors are not usually trained to diagnose agoraphobia, let alone anxiety disorders, agoraphobia has had time to become deeply rooted in most people before they know enough about the disorder to seek the proper treatment and being recovery.

In light of this, here are some basics about agoraphobia:

Agoraphobia is "anxiety about, or avoidance of, places or situations from which escape might be difficult (or embarrassing) or in which help may not be available in the event of having a panic attack or panic-like symptoms. (DSM-IV)

Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder. The term agoraphobia comes from the Greek words agora (a????), meaning marketplace, and phobia (f?ß??), meaning fear. Literally translated as fear of the marketplace, people with agoraphobia are afraid of open or public spaces.

In reality, most people with agoraphobia are not so much afraid of open and public places as they are afraid of having a panic attack in these settings, especially settings in which there may be no one to help in the case of a panic attack or actual emergency.

The most common symptoms of agoraphobia are:

1) Panic Attacks: Periods of intense fear, usually lasting about ten minutes or so (but sometimes longer).

2) Avoidance Behavior: Avoiding places and situations that are hard to escape from or that might be embarrassing to have to suddenly leave. Most commonly, this is because they fear having a panic attack or unexpected catastrophe and not being able to get help or get away.

3) Developing "Safe" People: People with whom the agoraphobic is highly familiar with and feels emotionally close to. Safe people are usually parents, spouses, children, or close friends and relatives.

4) Developing "Safe" Places: Places in which the agoraphobic feels psychologically comfortable. The most common safe place for someone with agoraphobia is his or her own home.

5) Scanning: Obsessive monitoring of one's own body for strange or unusual symptoms.

6) Fear of being alone: This is related to the fear of having no one to help in the case of a panic attack or real emergency.

If you suspect that you or someone you know might have agoraphobia, dont waste any time in learning about the disorder. Research has shown that the sooner you start the recovery process the more likely your chances of a successful recovery are.

You can learn more about agoraphobia online at www.agoraphobia.ws the Agoraphobia Resource Center website. The site was started by a recovered agoraphobic with the intention of helping others learn about and recover from agoraphobia.

Stephen Price is a recovered agoraphobic who has has devoted himself to the study of agoraphobia and to helping others overcome the disorder. Since his recovery, Stephen has earned masters degrees in psychology and counseling and has published original research on anxiety. Contact: Stephen Price Agoraphobia Resource Center http://www.agoraphobia.ws/ 559-322-6898  

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The Cost of ADHD - Treatment a Must for Emotional, Physical and Financial Health

According to recent studies, ADHD is one of the most costly health conditions in the U.S. - topped only by alcohol abuse and clearly ahead of drug abuse in terms of cost.

Annually, alcohol abuse costs American families $86 billion in lost household income. The annual cost for ADHD is $77 billion and the annual cost for drug abuse is $58 billion.

Hard costs, like out-of-pocket medical treatment, are only one aspect of lost income. ADHD high school graduates and college graduates make considerably less money annually than their non-ADHD counterparts.

Research indicates that it doesn?t matter if the person with ADHD has the same level of education as someone who does not have ADHD, the person with ADHD will make less money than the person without ADHD. The numbers are between $4500.00 and $10,000.00 annually. People with ADHD suffer from symptoms like inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity - which are not always conducive to the work environment.

Although about half the children with ADHD learn to adequately manage their symptoms into adulthood, the other half continue to struggle as they transition from school to work. If ADHD goes untreated into adulthood, the symptoms can affect their financial health by making it harder to hold down a job, making it harder to obtain the education needed to land high-paying jobs and it can cause more lost work days.

Many psychiatrists that treat adults with ADHD ask their clients to bring in their employee evaluations, most of the evaluations brought in read like a textbook case. The ADHD adult will talk out of turn, have difficulty following through with instructions, show lack of focus, have difficulty finishing projects and complain of being disorganized.

Symptoms like these make it very hard for an adult with ADHD to maintain a successful work environment. More often than not, these are the employees that get passed up for a promotion or are under-employed according to their abilities.

Not only does the adult with ADHD have more problems at work, without successful treatment the ADHD adult typically also has:

_ Higher Divorce rates.
_ Lower levels of satisfaction with all aspects of their lives.
_ Less likely to have a positive self- image or be optimistic.
_ More likely to abuse drugs or alcohol.
_ More driving accidents.
Most experts agree that if ADHD is detected and treated at a young age, the ADHD adult will be less likely to struggle with work and their everyday duties.

The key is in finding successful and healthful treatment for the ADHD adult.

Jeannine Virtue is a freelance writer who focuses on health related issues. For information about effective and healthy treatments for Attention Deficit Disorder in adults and children, visit the Attention Deficit Disorder Help Center at http://www.add-adhd-help-center.com

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The Impact of Physical Illness on Mental Health

While there have been many advances made in the mental health field over the last quarter century, with mental health professionals acknowledging more and more mental illnesses and how they develop, one aspect of mental health is still not widely discussed. This is the actual impact that physical illness has on ones mental health.

In fact, few people who are not in the mental health field even consider the part that physical illness plays when it comes to mental health. For example, when you get a cold, you may be a little irritable, and most of us would attribute the fact that we dont feel good to that irritability.

However, it goes a little deeper than that. When we dont feel good even if feeling bad comes from a simple cold we also tend to feel a little blue. Things that would not otherwise be a big deal in our lives become a little larger. We do not respond or react as we normally would.

Fortunately, the cold does not last long, and we get back to being normal. But what if that cold turned into a long term illness, or even a fatal illness? How does that affect our mental health? It affects every area of your life, including personal relationships, social interactions, work, and even religious beliefs and spirituality. With such illnesses, it isnt even so much a question of not feeling good, in the physical sense. It is a question of not feeling good in the mental sense.

Naturally, when confronted with long-term illnesses, no matter how mild or serious they are, we experience a range of emotions, such as anger, worry, and sadness. We feel that our bodies let us down. We feel that we have no control. We may feel lonely or feel that people dont understand what we are going through.

The biggest concerns, from a mental health standpoint, when it comes to long-term illness, are depression and anxiety. It is not at all uncommon for someone who is suffering from a long-term physical ailment to experience either of these conditions. It is, however, often overlooked and left untreated. This, of course, can be very dangerous, and as research has shown, even have a negative impact on the physical recovery process.

These days, doctors are more aware of how physical ailments affect our mental health, and they are on the lookout for signs of anxiety or depression in their patients. However, for the most part, your doctor will not be aware that a problem exists if you are not open and honest with them about your feelings and what is going on in your life.

Overall, it is perfectly fine and perfectly normal to feel a little blue when you are under the weather. But when it comes to long term illnesses, you need to be able to recognize the signs of depression and anxiety. When you see those signs, let your doctor know immediately, and seek treatment. Dont try to go it alone and do not assume that it will pass.

Jennifer B. Baxt, LMFT, LMHC, PA
Complete Counseling Solutions
http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com

About the Author: Jennifer B. Baxt, LMHC, LMFT was born and raised in south Florida. She went to the University of Florida for her undergraduate work and majored in communications. She then got her Master's degree in marriage and family therapy. While she was getting her Master's, she worked in a hospital Emergency Room as a patient advocate and family counselor. Since then she has worked with children, adults and geriatric patients.  

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Stop Your Destructive Inner Voice

Stress. Depression. Anxiety. They?re powerful words that conjure up all kinds of images and prejudices in our minds. People who suffer from these illnesses find it hard to cope with life. They can feel deeply unhappy, they can find no joy in anything life has to offer, and of course, their levels of self-esteem, confidence and self-respect plummet.

But how can this happen to someone?

Let?s concentrate on how these illnesses affect the way we value the self. Of all of the destructive patterns of behavior these illnesses cause, the way a sufferer talks to the self is the fuel that maintains their illness.

I have experienced depression from two sides. For 5 years, a series of traumatic events triggered a personal nightmare I believed would never end. One of these events came when my lover was diagnosed with depression. At this time, I too had entered into the spiral of anxiety-induced depression. Both of these experiences have given me an insight into how sufferers destroy any value of the self.

Let me give a couple of examples. With my partner, if I?d arranged an evening out with friends, she?d say:

?No, I won?t come, you go without me. I never have anything interesting to say. I just bore people. They?ll find me an effort to be with. I?ll stay here.?

If I made a mistake, I?d say to myself:

?I?m useless. I?m no good at anything. Everything I do I get wrong.?

This self-deprecation then spreads into other areas of life. You begin to criticize the way you look, the decisions you make or don?t make, and you focus solely on the downside of life. Each time a little bit of self-worth, a little bit of self-respect and a little bit of self-confidence are eroded. Eventually, they are lost completely. When I reached my lowest point, having lost everything and everyone I loved, I?d say to myself:

?If I died tomorrow, no one would know and no one would care.?

So, what helped me to come out of the fog?

Well, the reason I thought I?d become depressed was because of a series of traumatic events occurring at the same time. I was wrong. The root cause of my depression lay in the ways I reacted to them. One of the ways I?d reacted was to blame myself for events I couldn?t control. The more I blamed myself, the more I beat myself up. The more I beat myself up, the more my self-esteem decreased.

The phrases I have used to briefly illustrate self-deprecating phrases we continually use against the self are mild. I?m sure you realize that many people use much stronger phrases than I?ve given here. The point is that these phrases would be totally unacceptable to say to others. You wouldn?t tell a person that they were boring, an effort to be with and that everyone found their company dull and it would be better for everyone else if they kept away from people.

Agreed?
Yet, if I say to people:

?Pay yourself compliments. Accentuate your good in all areas of your life. Write down your good points, your triumphs, your achievements. Remind yourself as often as possible about all the good you have done.?

They look at me like I?m an alien and say they?d feel stupid. Or uncomfortable. Or even embarrassed.

Yet they don?t feel any of these emotions when they talk to themselves using emotionally charged, self-deprecating phrases! And like rust upon metal, these phrases gradually erode our self-esteem and our confidence.

OK, here?s the bottom-line. I?d like you to inscribe what you are about to read into your mind over and over again until it is permanently etched there:

It is NEVER acceptable to talk to myself in a way I know is inappropriate and even offensive if I spoke in the same way to others.

Time for me to sign off, but before I do, here?s a phrase I say to myself every single day without fail. Please use it, it is very powerful:

?If you put yourself down, down is where you will stay.?

Chris Green is the author of the new book ?Conquering Stress?, a special program which will show you how to conquer stressful illnesses such as depression, anxiety, panic and worry permanently and without taking powerful drugs. For more information, pleaase click here => http://www.conqueringstress.com
Author publisher and IT Consultant Chris Green started out as a computer operator before starting several successful businesses. He now concentrates exclusively on producing self-help and e-commerce electronic books. 

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