How to Find Hope When Hopelessness Attacks

Copyright ? 2005 Melissa Quiter

Often, life can seem very overwhelming. When you are constantly being faced with one challenging situation after another, it can begin to feel exhausting to continue trying. What is the point of constantly fighting back when the only reward is, yet, another challenge to take care of? Hopelessness sets in and the world looks very bleak.

The feelings of hopelessness can be devastating. They can make you do things you wouldn?t normally do and think things you wouldn?t normally think. However, in those moments when the feelings attack you, normal no longer exists. There is only the fight to get through those intense feelings or the fatigue of just finally wanting to succumb to them.

I can so clearly appreciate these feelings. In fact, I know these feelings first hand. I am a survivor of hopelessness. And I choose the word survivor intentionally.

First, I believe that people who prevail in extreme situations are not victims. Victims don?t make it. A victim of a murder is dead. A survivor is someone who says, ?I am not done. I am still here and the power is mine to reclaim.?

Second, I chose the word survivor because there were many times, when I really was just as happy, if not happier, with the thought of checking out of this world and calling it done. In my over-worked and over-achieving mind it seemed to make sense that, if I wasn?t finding a purpose and had no happiness, what was the point in pushing through all this pain and struggle and fear?

The amazing thing is that I am still here. I discovered the answers that I so desperately needed, and now I want to share those answers with others who also know there is so much more than that what you may be experiencing.

Although I don?t know you personally, I do know this. Up to this point, you have pushed through too. Regardless of the strength and will it has taken to do so, you have not given up. And, the even more amazing thing I know is that you are now taking an active role in creating a different future than you have experienced in the past. You are doing that by reading this article. The only way to create something different from what you have already experienced is to add new information, new tools and new resources to your life.

What I discovered that changed my life, and will change yours too, is that without tools, humans would stop growing and evolving. There is no world, as you and I know it, without the tools we use to live on a daily basis. If you think about it then, it makes perfect sense that being the creator of an amazing, joyous, productive and fulfilling life also requires the proper tools. You cannot do this alone. You aren?t supposed to do it alone! And what is so exciting is that -- even though you have been struggling and pushing and scraping by without all the tools -- you are still here and still making it. Think of what is going to be possible when you do have the proper tools. You won?t believe how much more fun this thing called life can be!

The tools that I teach are the tools that I discovered, modified and combined to deal with my own dire need to find the missing joy and purpose I knew was possible. I knew there had to be a better way than constant struggle.

Tools are what set humans free. Through the use of tools, you can write, cook, create music, build homes, drive, fly and achieve feats never before thought possible. Tools are what allow humans to be more than they could otherwise be. Even research into our animal kingdom shows the use of tools is prevalent for daily survival.

It only makes sense that in order to create a life that you most desire, you must have knowledge and access to the tools of creating and manifesting. Through extensive research and trial and error on my own journey, the following combination of tools is what I found to be the key to living and creating the life you desire.

First, the foundation of creating is based on understanding the general principles of how the world works. The Universal Laws provide this foundation from a spiritual and scientific combined perspective. There are seven universal laws with one overriding law that governs every experience you have. The overriding law is based on Quantum Physics, and is says that everything is made of energy. Everything. From the chair you sit in to the thought you have about the chair to the feelings you get when you sit in the chair. All physical and non-physical ?things? are simply varying speeds of energy in varying forms creating the world in which you and I live. By understanding and applying each universal law, you open your mind up to the multiple options for what is actually possible.

For example, if you were to fly a plane, but you had no understanding of the laws of gravity and aerodynamics, flying the plane would, in theory, still be possible. You could get behind the controls and hit the gas. However, you would most likely not have a pleasant or safe flight. You certainly wouldn?t experience the joy and ease of flying and the truly amazing experience you could have if you had the proper tools and knowledge to assist in that endeavor.

Closely related to the foundational tool of the Universal Laws is the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction applies the theory of all ?things? being made of energy and explains how creating and manifesting is based on focusing and attracting. This law states that whatever you place your energy and focus on is what you attract back to you ? wanted or unwanted. This means that by learning to focus on what you do want versus what you don?t want, you have access to attracting every desire you articulate. For example, if you desire to have a safe trip home. You must focus your energy on the safe trip as opposed to focusing on not having an accident. When you focus on not having something, you are actually still putting your focus on that thing you don?t want ? in this example the accident.

The challenge with this tool is that is requires the use of three other imperative tools in order for it to work with 100% success. Many people have been frustrated with the Law of Attraction not working, thinking it is flawed. However, I found that it is not the law that is flawed, but the application of the law without the other tools. Just like a hammer is an amazing tool for building, but only if it is combined with a nail. Without the nail, the hammer is extremely limited in its full capacity. The same is true for the nail! Learning and knowing the Law of Attraction is imperative to being a master creator of your life.

One of the tools required to apply the Law of Attraction is the tool of self-awareness. This is a tool that is often under appreciated and taken for granted. Truly understanding where you are right now in your life, why you are there and, most importantly, how you got there is imperative to knowing where you want to go, why and how you plan to get there. The tool of truly understanding yourself is not always as easy as it appears. This is why there are multiple tools for getting a closer look at who you really are. These tools include the 4-eVer evolving! Life Assessment, the Gallup Poll?s StrengthFinder? and delving into your past to discover passions, patterns and themes. Without knowing where you are starting, you cannot know in which direction you need to go to get to your destination. You also may not truly understand your destination. When you know where you are starting, what is pulling you forward and exactly where you want to go, the plan for that journey naturally unfolds before you. You cannot create and manifest without an articulated plan.

One of the most important tools needed to create your plan is the Nine Environments of Holistic Living. Your life does not only consist of one area in which you create your experiences from. There are multiple areas of importance that, at varying times, get more or less focus. By using the Nine Environments of Holistic Living, you can break down your life into manageable segments. When you start articulating your goals and desires in each of the separate areas, you quickly find where there may be conflicting intentions occurring. And this is where so much of the hopelessness and frustration is caused.

Conflicting intentions are two desires that, if realized, actually cancel each other out. If you have conflicting intentions that you are not aware of, you often end up not creating either one, or you get a very watered-down version of one or the other. The worst thing that can happen is that you get the opposite of what you intended for both desires creating havoc and chaos in your life.

The best tool I have found to work with the Nine Environments of Holistic Living is Neuro-Linguistic Programming ? otherwise known as NLP. NLP is an advanced form of communication that not only improves communication between people, but also opens up communication with all the parts of your subconscious mind. NLP is a tool that allows you to go beyond your conscious into your subconscious mind, where your behaviors and beliefs are formed. It takes you to the source. And, it is only at the source that anything can be affected and changed for long-term growth and evolution. NLP provides multiple exercises and techniques that allow you to determine exactly what is happening within all the various parts of you. Without an understanding of the largest segment of your mind, reported to make up 88%, you cannot possible focus on the destination you most want to manifest. Without proper focus, you attract more of what you don?t want, and forgo creating and manifesting what you do want.

The last tool I created to pull everything together. The Process of Deliberate Creation is a daily tool that uses the information uncovered and discovered in creating your plan to assist in applying the proper focus needed on a daily basis. If you are not creating deliberately, it is too easy to fall into default creating. Default creating is not knowing what you desire in each area of your life. It is not knowing what conflicting intentions may be sabotaging your progress and success and producing hopelessness and sadness. Default creating is not using the Universal Laws to assist in reframing what you see and ultimately what you experience.

Deliberate creation is about combining all of these tools and giving yourself the gift of hope; giving yourself the gift of living the life you came here to live. Deliberate creation is about being a survivor without the struggle, sadness and hopelessness. It is about immediately knowing how to shift every situation and challenge to propel you forward. It is about shifting your mindset to see the possibilities instead of the blocks. It is about having the proper tools to create and manifest for building the life of your dreams, painting the masterpiece of your imagination and making music that fills your soul.

Creating and manifesting is about becoming aware of the tools, which you have done in this article, and learning how to use those tools to begin living your life as a survivor of hopelessness.

I did it and I know, with the combination of these tools, you can too!

Melissa Jean Quiter is an inspirational life and business strategist with Provocative Communications. She is the author of the 4-phase, life and business-changing program, ?Being Spiritual Doesn?t Mean Being Poor! How to remove what blocks you from making money & creating happiness,? based on the Law of Attraction and the three required elements (the universal laws, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the Nine Environments of Holistic Living) to ensure your success 100% of the time. To get started, visit: http://www.ProvocativeCommunications.com/takingcontrol.html . Melissa also teaches a simple, yet profound, daily process for deliberately creating your life in her book, ?My cat made me a millionaire? (and how yours can too!),? available here: http://www.ProvocativeCommunications.com/cat.html . E-mail: Quiter@Texas.net or call: [512] 341-0556.
Melissa Jean Quiter is an inspirational life and business strategist with Provocative Communications. She is the author of the 4-phase, life and business-changing program, ?Being Spiritual Doesn?t Mean Being Poor! How to remove what blocks you from making money & creating happiness,? based on the Law of Attraction and the three required elements (the universal laws, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the Nine Environments of Holistic Living) to ensure your success 100% of the time. To get started, visit: http://www.ProvocativeCommunications.com/takingcontrol.html . Melissa also teaches a simple, yet profound, daily process for deliberately creating your life in her book, ?My cat made me a millionaire? (and how yours can too!),? available here: http://www.ProvocativeCommunications.com/cat.html . E-mail: Quiter@Texas.net or call: [512] 341-0556.  

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How To Avoid Descent Into Depression

You?ll hear many times that single events can trigger a major episode of stress, depression and anxiety. The key word is ?trigger?, because that is all a single event is. It doesn?t actually CAUSE stress, depression or anxiety but it does trigger a sequence of behaviors that lead to mental trauma.

But how does this happen?

Descent into a stressful, depressive or anxious episode happens because of negative and catastrophic reactions to events you are confronted with. One event by itself simply isn?t enough. There are many chain-reactions that take place before a person becomes highly stressed or depressed or anxious, but I?m going to discuss one of the biggest ones: using one event to ascribe catastrophic meanings to all areas of your life ? I call it ?generalizing?.

Let?s take a look at two events that most, if not all humans, will experience during their lifetime:

1. Loss of a job. 2. Death of a loved one.

Loss of a job is a major event that can trigger depression. Please understand, the job loss itself cannot cause depression. It triggers a number of reactions, especially generalization and here?s how it works:

You lose your job and you start to think in general terms:

?Oh no, this is disastrous! How will I cope now? What will people think of me when I tell them? My job meant the whole world to me, now my world is falling apart. I?m nothing without my job! How will I pay the bills? I won?t be able to get another job and life will become a real struggle. Everything is going wrong and I?ll never be happy again!?

Now, this reaction is typical of how a depressive episode can be triggered by one event. Powerful words ? disastrous, nothing, struggle, everything, never ? will stir fearful emotions within you. Self-esteem is being hit, doubt about your abilities is raised, and a catastrophic prediction of the future is made. The job has also been used to ascribe meaning to your whole life and now it?s gone, a feeling that your life has no meaning is also present.

A similar reaction will happen when you lose a loved one:

?I?m devastated! He/She was my whole world, and now my world has fallen apart. Nothing will ever be the same again, I?ll never be happy and I feel empty inside. Life holds nothing for me anymore and I don?t know how I?ll cope without him/her. ?

Can you see the generalizations? Again, we have powerful, negative and emotionally charged phrases to ascribe meaning: whole world, fallen apart, nothing, never, anymore. And a catastrophic prediction for the future is present again.

In both examples, one event has been carried into all areas of your life. With a job loss, enormous importance has been placed on the job itself and now the job has gone, these general meanings cause you serious distress. It?s the same with losing a loved one. Meanings about your whole life have been placed on one person and their passing means your whole life is affected.

In generalizing like this, descent into mental trauma is inevitable.

To stop it, the key skill of keeping perspective is crucial. This means that you keep an event from one area of your life separate from other areas. For example, if the event is job loss, you react without generalizing:

?OK, I?ve lost my job, but my job is just a way to earn income. It doesn?t mean I won?t find a better job nor does it mean that things will change for the worst. My social and home life will still remain the same and I?ll carry on with my life just as I?ve always done. One chapter in my working life has ended and a new one is about to begin.?

Do you see the difference in how keeping perspective and not using powerful, emotionally charged words and phrases will prevent fearful emotions arising?

Please remember that no change is permanent as nothing lasts forever. Things will come into your life and things will move out of your life. It is the cycle of life. Keep things relevant to the area of your life they affect and you will maintain good mental health no matter what circumstances you are faced with.

Until next time.

Former anxiety sufferer Chris Green is the author of ?Conquering Stress?, the internationally acclaimed program which will help you to permanently conquer stress, depression and anxiety without taking powerful drugs. For a free mini course, please click here => http://www.conqueringstress.com
Author publisher and IT Consultant Chris Green started out as a computer operator before starting several successful businesses. He now concentrates exclusively on producing self-help and e-commerce electronic books. 

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Important Causes and Symptoms of Anxiety Attacks

Until people know what the definition of one is many people don’t realize that they are actually having an anxiety attack. Since the symptoms can seem like you are dying, an anxiety attack has a strong sensation of fear. You should know as much as you can about these attacks so you can try to control them.

Causes of Anxiety Attacks

From person to person the causes of anxiety attacks can vary. For some a fear of something they experienced when they were growing up could be the cause while for others it can be an upsetting event in their life. The possibilities for an anxiety attack are truthfully endless although stress in a big contributor. Other contributors to anxiety attacks include being less than active and medications. Anxiety attacks occurs as the body’s way of dealing with any feeling that is overwhelming so there is not a particular known reason for people to experience these attacks.

Some Symptoms of an Anxiety Attack

Extreme fear is one of the main symptoms of an anxiety attack. Fear is the end result of the real symptoms even though it is acknowledged as a symptom of anxiety. One or more symptoms are typically experienced that lead to the fear. Before fear some symptoms can include chest pain from a racing heart, shortness of breath and dizziness. Symptoms of anxiety are anything that makes you fearful for your life as a result of an uncomfortable sensation and until you confirm your suspicions it should be treated as such.

So, is it an Anxiety Attack?

It is almost impossible to determine if you have a feeling as a result of an anxiety attack or some other condition. This is because the symptoms are similar if not exactly the same between anxiety and several other types of conditions. A physician can run important tests to determine if you have an medical condition that underlies your symptoms or if anxiety is causing it they can help you find ways to control it.

Tony Jacowski writes on overcoming anxiety - http://www.overcominganxiety.org , He also writes on anxiety cure - http://www.anxietycure.org and anxiety disorders information - http://www.overcominganxiety.org/anxiety-disorders.htmTony Jacowski writes on overcoming anxiety - http://www.overcominganxiety.org , He also writes on anxiety cure - http://www.anxietycure.org and anxiety disorders information - http://www.overcominganxiety.org/anxiety-disorders.htm



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How to Help a Friend Going Through Postpartum Depression

1.  When I suffered from post partum depression, the best thing anyone did for me was look after my baby so I could either sleep, exercise or hit Starbucks for a decaf and read my favourite magazine. My first born was colicky and I needed a break every now and then.

2. I would suggest you ask your friend, "What do you need right now?", "What would you like more than anything right now?" If she answers, "my bathroom to be cleaned" - by all means do it! :)

3. Some other great things were little gifts like herbal teas and bath soaks to pamper myself. I absolutely loved this peppermint foot spray that Body Shop has. It soothed my aching feet. I also loved a pampering day at the Spa.

4. I had friends cook meals for me that were nutritious and hot. I craved a good hot meal. It took a lot to make a meal so this was SO FABULOUS! I had arranged for 5 friends to alternate meals each week for me. I knew from the first pregnancy that I had to be bold and ask for this kind of help. However, the first time, I was too shy and too afraid to ask. As a result, I was lonely, undernourished and depressed. Ask your friend what her favourite meal is and make it! Or if you aren't a good cook, order it!

5. If you're friend is able, take her for a walk with her new baby. Getting outside was THE BEST thing for me! Find a great park or something with paths away from busy traffic. Walk past a playground so your friend can see happy moms and children playing. This was encouraging to me too.

Warning!: Do talk to your doctor before engaging in any exercise routine.

Visit: http://www.cure-your-depression.com for more helpful info.


Merri Ellen is a former depression sufferer and mother of 2, wife of 1 hubby, owner of 1 cat. Shes beaten it (depression, not the cat) and is on a mission to share the research she spent hours compiling to help others be in the know of what depression really is and how to really treat it. Depression isnt a disease it is a symptom! She invites you to share your stories too. http://www.cure-your-depression.com/  

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3 Tips To Expose Psychiatric Quackery

If you?re suffering from an episode of stress, depression or anxiety and your finding life real hard right now, it?s more than likely you will turn to a health professional for help. It is absolutely essential to ensure you get the correct treatment. Most sufferers do not and undergo treatment that amounts to little more than quackery. So how can you be sure you?re not one of them?

Here?s 3 critical questions to ask a therapist. DO NOT accept treatment unless you get the correct answers.

1. The most important question of them all: What, exactly, is causing me to feel this way? Because if you?re going to conquer these illnesses once and for all, you have to know what the root cause is. If your therapist answers anything other than flawed modes of thinking, DO NOT USE THEM. OK, the most common answer you will get is chemical imbalances. This is just quackery, plain and simple because chemical imbalances have never been proven to cause stress, anxiety or depression. You may also get answers such as traumatic event, illness and genetics. ALL OF THESE SIMPLY AREN?T TRUE. What makes you feel so bad is modes of thinking and ONLY modes of thinking. And you will have performed them for years, since childhood for most sufferers. Any other answer amounts to quackery and will lead the therapist to recommend antidepressant drug therapy. If this happens to you, please ask this question:

2. Why are you prescribing antidepressants for me? Antidepressant drugs are used to treat chemical imbalances within the brain. Therapists will say you feel so bad because you have a lack of ?happy chemicals? in your brain, particularly serotonin. THIS HAS NEVER BEEN PROVEN. You can look anywhere you want, you can ask any therapist, doctor, professor or even the President himself and not one of them will be able to provide a single shred of evidence for chemical imbalances causing stress, depression, or anxiety. Many therapists will prattle on about chemical imbalances, using their medical knowledge to bamboozle you and to get you onto long-term drug therapy. It?s quackery and fortunately, you will expose it as such by asking this:

3. How do you know I have a chemical imbalance? Amazingly, there is NO TEST to establish chemical imbalances. This begs the question: how on earth can drugs treat chemical imbalances when a test to determine the imbalance hasn?t been carried out? And even if a test did prove that you had low levels of certain chemicals, where is the evidence to prove that the imbalance CAUSES stressful illnesses? There isn?t any. Drugs are not the answer. The only way to get rid of stress, depression and anxiety is to treat the root cause and the root cause is flawed, harmful modes of thinking.

It is so very important to be aware of what treatment is being recommended to you. The important issue at stake here is of sufferers who need help being given expensive, powerful treatments that cannot cure them; treatments with no proven, scientific evidence of addressing the problem they claim to cure.

The known root cause of these illnesses is modes of thinking. No event, no chemicals, no illnesses, no genetics, nothing from your past and nothing from your present. It?s all about the thought processes you perform every day of your life. Processes that will cause you great harm the more you perform them. The good news is that you can learn to replace flawed modes of thinking with more effective ones and you don?t need powerful, expensive meds to help you do so. And unlike drugs, the more effective modes will provide a lasting cure and you will never descend into the misery of stress, anxiety or depression ever again.

IMPORTANT: PLEASE CONSULT WITH YOUR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL BEFORE YOU STOP TAKING ANY ANTIDEPRESSANT MEDICATION.

Chris Green is the author of ?Conquering Stress?, a special program which will show you how to conquer stress, depression and anxiety without taking powerful drugs. For a free e-course please click here => http://www.conqueringstress.com
Author publisher and IT Consultant Chris Green started out as a computer operator before starting several successful businesses. He now concentrates exclusively on producing self-help and e-commerce electronic books. 

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